tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-42836506962018323182024-03-13T11:27:14.370+08:00心灵重整工作室 Soul Inspiration Centre Soul Inspiration Centrehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00422563846612275919noreply@blogger.comBlogger216125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4283650696201832318.post-2317527769947672172016-09-10T22:51:00.000+08:002016-09-10T22:51:20.309+08:00《亲密关系》<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="background: white; color: #222222; font-family: 宋体; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">有朋友问起我:</span><span style="background: white; color: #222222; font-family: 宋体; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><b>“<span lang="ZH-CN">什么是连结?</span>”</b></span></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="background: white;">我回答他:<span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial;">“<span lang="ZH-CN">这个问题,我需要认真思考。</span>”</span></span><br />
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="background: white;">但此时此刻的我,深刻地了解到,这并不是一个,单靠<span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial;"><b>“<span lang="ZH-CN">思考</span>”</b><span lang="ZH-CN">,</span><wbr style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.8px; line-height: normal;"></wbr>就能找到<b>“<span lang="ZH-CN">答案</span>”</b><span lang="ZH-CN">的问题;而是一个,需要透过自身</span><b>“<span lang="ZH-CN">生命历程</span>”</b>的回溯</span><span lang="ZH-CN">,才能找到<b>“<span lang="ZH-CN">根源</span>”</b><span lang="ZH-CN">的问题。</span></span></span><br />
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="background: white;">首先,当一个人会问自己:<span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial;">“<span lang="ZH-CN">什么是连结?</span>”<span lang="ZH-CN">的时候,</span><wbr style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.8px; line-height: normal;"></wbr>那或许也意味着,在某种程度上,<b>在我过去的生命历程当中,我并没有和别人,有过“</b></span><span lang="ZH-CN"><b><wbr style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.8px; line-height: normal;"></wbr>亲密和深刻的情感连结”</b><span lang="ZH-CN">。</span><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: white; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; line-height: 115%;">那份<span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial;"><b>“<span lang="ZH-CN">不安</span>”</b><span lang="ZH-CN">,似乎隐隐约约地在告诉我:</span><b>“<span lang="ZH-CN">我是孤独的</span>”<span lang="ZH-CN">、</span>“</b></span><span lang="ZH-CN"><b><wbr style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.8px; line-height: normal;"></wbr>我是没有人爱的”<span lang="ZH-CN">、</span>“<span lang="ZH-CN">我是没有价值的</span>”</b><span lang="ZH-CN">。</span></span></span><br />
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: white; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; line-height: 115%;">反过来,就是我很<span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial;"><b>“<span lang="ZH-CN">渴望</span>”</b><span lang="ZH-CN">,可以跟别人,建立一份</span><b>“<span lang="ZH-CN">持续、稳定、</span><wbr style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.8px; line-height: normal;"></wbr>亲密和安全的关系”</b><span lang="ZH-CN">。</span></span></span><br />
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: white; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; line-height: 115%;">然而可能由于过去<span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial;">“<span lang="ZH-CN">生命历程</span>”<span lang="ZH-CN">当中的一些<b>“心理创伤”</b>或是<b>“童年阴影”</b>,</span><wbr style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.8px; line-height: normal;"></wbr>让我无法和别人,建立一份“<span lang="ZH-CN">持续、稳定、亲密和安全的关系</span>”<span lang="ZH-CN">;</span><wbr style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.8px; line-height: normal;"></wbr>所以在内心深处,我是<b>“<span lang="ZH-CN">既渴望得到爱,却又极度害怕受伤害</span>”</b>。</span></span><br />
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: white; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; line-height: 115%;">这样一个<span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial;"><b>“<span lang="ZH-CN">自相矛盾</span>”</b><span lang="ZH-CN">的心理,让</span><b>“<span lang="ZH-CN">我跟我自己的关系</span>”</b><span lang="ZH-CN">,</span><wbr style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.8px; line-height: normal;"></wbr>常常处在一种<b>“</b><span lang="ZH-CN"><b>失序、混乱、撕裂与拉扯</b></span><b>”</b><span lang="ZH-CN">的状态当中;</span><wbr style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.8px; line-height: normal;"></wbr>就更别提,与他人建立一份“<span lang="ZH-CN">持续、稳定、亲密和安全的关系</span>”<span lang="ZH-CN">。</span></span></span><br />
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: white; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; line-height: 115%;">所以回到问题的<span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial;">“<span lang="ZH-CN">根源</span>”<span lang="ZH-CN">,当一个人会问自己或是别人:</span>“</span><span lang="ZH-CN"><wbr style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.8px; line-height: normal;"></wbr>什么是连结?”<span lang="ZH-CN">的时候;首先,他必须要有能力,去观照自己:</span></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #222222; font-family: 宋体; font-size: 12pt;"><span lang="ZH-CN" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: white; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; line-height: 115%;"><span lang="ZH-CN"><b>“</b></span><b><span lang="ZH-CN"><wbr style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.8px; line-height: normal;"></wbr>此时此刻的我,和我自己的关系,究竟是处在怎样的一种状态之中?</span><wbr style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.8px; line-height: normal;"></wbr>”</b></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #222222; font-family: 宋体; font-size: 12pt;"><span lang="ZH-CN" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: white; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; line-height: 115%;"><b>“<span lang="ZH-CN">我和我自己的关系,是持续、稳定、亲密和安全的吗?</span>”</b></span><br />
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: white; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; line-height: 115%;">如果不是,那我可以做些什么,来让我自己,跟我自己的关系,<wbr style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.8px; line-height: normal;"></wbr>可以<span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial;"><b>“<span lang="ZH-CN">更靠近一点</span></b>”<span lang="ZH-CN">?</span></span><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="background: white; color: #222222; font-family: 宋体; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-fareast; mso-bidi-font-family: "Sakkal Majalla"; mso-fareast-theme-font: major-fareast; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-fareast;">毕竟世上最亲密的关系,是<b>“我和我之间”</b>的关系。</span><span style="background: white; color: #222222; font-family: 宋体; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-fareast; mso-bidi-font-family: "Sakkal Majalla"; mso-fareast-theme-font: major-fareast; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-fareast;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="background: white; color: #222222; font-family: 宋体; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-fareast; mso-bidi-font-family: "Sakkal Majalla"; mso-fareast-theme-font: major-fareast; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-fareast;">而唯有当我先处理好,我和我之间的关系,我才有能力,去和他人,建立<b>“情感上亲密与深刻的连结”</b>;否则,</span><span style="background: white; color: #222222; font-family: 宋体; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-fareast; mso-bidi-font-family: "Sakkal Majalla"; mso-fareast-theme-font: major-fareast; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-fareast;"><b>“<span lang="ZH-CN">自我纠结的矛盾心理</span>”</b><span lang="ZH-CN">,会时不时跑出来,</span><wbr style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.8px; line-height: normal;"></wbr>破坏<b>“我和他人之间”</b>的亲密关系。</span></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="background: white; color: #222222; font-family: 宋体; font-size: 12.0pt;">图</span><span style="background: white; color: #222222; font-family: 宋体; font-size: 12.0pt;">/<span lang="ZH-CN">文:</span></span><span style="background: white; color: #222222; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体;">Bryan Goh</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 12pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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Soul Inspiration Centrehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00422563846612275919noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4283650696201832318.post-632715035703126032015-09-07T12:24:00.001+08:002015-09-07T12:31:00.909+08:00《扮演孩子的土壤》<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">我深深地相信:“每个孩子,都是独一无二的孩子;各自,也有他与生俱来的天赋潜能。”</span></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">因此,我也深深地相信:“世界上没有一套标准的亲子教养方式,是适用于每一个孩子的” 。</span></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">比如说,隔壁邻居的“老大”,个性是比较独立勇敢的;而你家里面的“老大”,个性是比较优柔寡断的。那么即便两个孩子都是家中排行第一的“老大”,同样“激进的教养方式” ,未必,也适用于个性优柔寡断的孩子身上。</span></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><br /></span></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">因为个性优柔寡断的孩子,并不是因为他想要优柔寡断,他才优柔寡断的;而是某种程度上,在他的“先天气质”里面,是比较不容易做决定,或者是对独立做决定缺乏安全感的;而如果父母不了解孩子的先天气质,就妄下判断:“这个孩子怎么那么没有用?只不过是叫他做一个小小的决定,也要琢磨那么久?”</span></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">对于一个个性本来就优柔寡断的孩子,这句话,“出自父母之口,听在孩子心里”,特别的刺耳,也特别的伤害孩子幼小的心灵。</span></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">因为父母是孩子生命中最重视的人,也是关系上最亲密的亲人,如果连父母也无法去接纳自己“本来的样子”,那么还有谁能够去接纳“如此不堪的自己”呢?</span></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><br /></span></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">在父母身上,孩子不但得不到他所渴望的“心理滋养”;也因为自己的个性,而让父母感到 “厌恶”或“羞耻”,心中的“自责”和“内疚”,可想而知。</span></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">内在资源有限,认知能力还没有发展成熟的孩子,在感觉到自己的生命“可能受到威胁”的时候,为了“讨好父母,以利于生存”;可能会因此而“强迫”自己,“必须”变得跟隔壁邻居“一模一样,独立勇敢”的孩子,以挽回父母对自己的爱。</span></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><br /></span></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">然而在孩子的内心深处,可能也会“隐隐约约”地觉得这样的“生存姿态”,自己,不太习惯,也不太舒服。</span></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><br /></span></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">另外一个可能性,就是孩子可能发展成为一个“双面人”——在父母师长面前,“呈现”出来的,是“一个独立勇敢的孩子”;然而在亲近的朋友面前,可能就像一粒“泄了气的气球那样”,又变回了自己“优柔寡断的老样子”。</span></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><br /></span></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">面对一个个性比较优柔寡断的孩子,父母需要扮演的角色,除了去接纳“孩子本来的样子” 以外;也要从旁协助和引导孩子,以身教和言教的方式,让孩子去看到——做决定,其实没有那么可怕;即使做错了决定,也还是可以在日后修正和调整过来;若没有办法修正和调整过来,也能够学习去承担自己界限范围内,应该承担的责任。</span></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><br /></span></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">“让孩子长成他本来的样子”,是为人父母,应尽的责任。孩子生下来,并不是为了“讨好父母而生存”,也不是为了“延续父母未完成的梦想”而生存。</span></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><br /></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjpXJaS6FhoqwW6nGpzY2uq2_ZZs-cnC3W05tuLZqoJNUJYRzlISon01i9Z4GGuREJoTx1Hd9JMDkC1Ameerh9wQ_taInIZ8G37wmPIax3Qs2ZXzqZKNrc1wl6YFOlhpH_GMl6cYUn_MD0/s1600/tree.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjpXJaS6FhoqwW6nGpzY2uq2_ZZs-cnC3W05tuLZqoJNUJYRzlISon01i9Z4GGuREJoTx1Hd9JMDkC1Ameerh9wQ_taInIZ8G37wmPIax3Qs2ZXzqZKNrc1wl6YFOlhpH_GMl6cYUn_MD0/s640/tree.JPG" width="478" /></a></div>
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<b><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">「父母的责任,是扮演孩子的土壤,提供孩子生命成长所需要的心理营养,让孩子内在生命树的树根,可以深深地,扎根在父母厚实的有机体土壤上。</span><o:p></o:p></b></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><b><br /></b></span></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><b>根长得结实厚壮,就无须惧怕狂风暴雨的摧残,也无须惧怕长不出硕果累累的树干。」</b></span><br />
<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><b><br /></b></span></div>
<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">加油,孩子!加油,父母!</span></div>
Soul Inspiration Centrehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00422563846612275919noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4283650696201832318.post-35514702468048524582014-07-11T22:22:00.001+08:002014-07-11T22:35:43.623+08:00《哀伤与爱》<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjdfRhtGihMdddpzSiwnwj3F2REE5nzs4bxsXdHYSDxG3sMpHGLqchthY0Vp34zuxeoOjx1t5mIy5QLXtQ7JOwP6XBr3H-RNC8OB7LVurMAjiNQ7QpWebrhB9wiSuU8sLEMvgBGiWn7vjY/s1600/photo.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjdfRhtGihMdddpzSiwnwj3F2REE5nzs4bxsXdHYSDxG3sMpHGLqchthY0Vp34zuxeoOjx1t5mIy5QLXtQ7JOwP6XBr3H-RNC8OB7LVurMAjiNQ7QpWebrhB9wiSuU8sLEMvgBGiWn7vjY/s1600/photo.JPG" /></a></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体;">生命中未被疗愈的“哀伤与失落”,总是以千百种不同的「情绪面貌」:忧郁、焦虑、愤怒、恐惧、无助、急躁不安</span>...<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体;">等等,向我们发出疗愈的讯号。</span></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><br /></span></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">但往往,我们会把这些“疗愈的讯号”,视之为对生活的一种“干扰”;想尽办法</span><span lang="ZH-CN" style="mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">,</span><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">去消除讯号,而忘了静下心来,去聆听「生命的呼唤」。</span><o:p></o:p></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><br /></span></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">于是,一次又一次地,我们在“平静与混乱”的轮回中打转。</span></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><br /></span></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">一次又一次地,陷入“歇斯底里”的状态;又一次一次地,努力恢复到“平静”的状态。</span><o:p></o:p><br />
<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><br /></span></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">也许我们自己也不太清楚,为何经历了“千百次的轮回”,生命,却依然好像在“原地踏步”,走不出来。</span></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><br /></span></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">但静下心来,往内观照,也许我们会看见,在内心深处,我们是如此强烈地抗拒着,去</span><span style="font-family: 宋体;">「</span><span style="font-family: 宋体;">承认</span><span style="font-family: 宋体;">」</span><span style="font-family: 宋体;">那已经无法挽回的生命或一段关系的结束。</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 宋体;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: 宋体;">似乎这么做,可以让我们内心的自责与内疚,缓和一点点;但</span><span style="font-family: 宋体;">哀伤要求我们的,并不是自责与内疚,而是如实地听见:</span></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><br /></span></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">「在深深的哀伤里面,也有深深的爱。」</span><o:p></o:p></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><br /></span></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">是这一份爱,让我们经历了哀伤与失落;也是这一份爱,让我们忆起,生命曾经的美好。</span><o:p></o:p></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><br /></span></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">提醒我们:</span></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><br /></span></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">「哀伤与爱,是生命的一体两面。」</span><o:p></o:p></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><br /></span></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">“当哀伤可以被聆听、被看见时,爱</span><span lang="ZH-CN"> </span><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">,自然而然,会找到它,流动的出口。”</span></div>
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Soul Inspiration Centrehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00422563846612275919noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4283650696201832318.post-15516489275419387282014-07-10T22:02:00.000+08:002014-07-10T22:22:08.467+08:00≪爱,是自我疼惜≫<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiZTrRWWHrPa4JvoMjRpNlA5jhExBJBA8L2Vy8LMMNEpFJRgvmViXxx16t7CXmod1vI1ZFrqPaqNwl5kBqsTwPxQ1ii8iZTDUsQIujUulb8EqpyDq29Z9QqMkTm2U-3rGCTaLhzpEsJOlk/s1600/IMG_9963.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiZTrRWWHrPa4JvoMjRpNlA5jhExBJBA8L2Vy8LMMNEpFJRgvmViXxx16t7CXmod1vI1ZFrqPaqNwl5kBqsTwPxQ1ii8iZTDUsQIujUulb8EqpyDq29Z9QqMkTm2U-3rGCTaLhzpEsJOlk/s1600/IMG_9963.JPG" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: 宋体;">出门的时候,在后山看见了这一幅很美丽的画面:</span></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><br /></span></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">一只母狗走在前面,后面跟着</span>8<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">只小狗,排成一线。</span><o:p></o:p></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><br /></span></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">拿起手机想要拍下来时,母狗,已经独自爬到了山丘上面,留下几只爬不上去的小狗,零零散散地、失落地在地上,四处游走。</span><o:p></o:p></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><br /></span></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">“母狗为何要独自攀爬上山丘?”</span><span lang="ZH-CN"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><br /></span></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">我不懂。</span><o:p></o:p></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><br /></span></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">“或许,她是为了寻找食物;或许,她暂时需要一个独处的空间</span>...<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">”</span><o:p></o:p></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><br /></span></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">我猜想。</span><o:p></o:p></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><br /></span></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">这“母子分离”的画面,不禁让我联想到“原生家庭里的亲子伤害”,也许是有心的</span><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">,也许是无意的;也许,是我们内心缺乏“安全感”</span><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">,做了太多“假设性的臆测”和“猜想”。</span><o:p></o:p></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><br /></span></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">就如同被母狗“抛弃”的那</span>8<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">只小狗,可能会猜想:“妈妈去寻找食物了”、“妈妈暂时需要一个独处的空间”或“妈妈拋弃我,不要我了”</span>...<o:p></o:p></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">“原生家庭里的亲子伤害</span><span lang="ZH-CN"> </span><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">,要如何才能疗愈、宽恕</span><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">呢?”</span><o:p></o:p></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><br /></span></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">我想,其中的一个关键,就是学习「以成人的眼光和角度,重新去思考」:</span><o:p></o:p></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><br /></span></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">“这件事情发生了,它对我产生了什么样的影响?”</span><o:p></o:p></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><br /></span></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">“在这个经验当中,我学到了些什么?”</span><o:p></o:p></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><br /></span></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"></span></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体;">“我有哪一些珍贵的内在资源?”</span><o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">“我看见我是怎么样的一个人?”</span><o:p></o:p></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 宋体;">最后,也是最重要的一点是:</span></div>
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<o:p></o:p></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><br /></span></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">“我愿意无条件地接纳过去自己的有限性、不夠好;同时,我也愿意以成人的眼光和角度,重新为自己现在的生命,做出不一样的选择。”</span><o:p></o:p></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><br /></span></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">当我们愿意付出多一点时间,多一点空间,去疼惜自己、爱惜自己;</span><span style="font-family: 宋体;">当我们内在对自己有足够、持续且稳定的爱的时候,我们并不需要特地去宽恕自己或别人,因为宽恕,会随着自爱能力的提升,自然而然发生。</span></div>
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<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">因为宽恕,就是爱。</span><o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">而成熟的爱,是自我疼惜,自我陪伴,自我照顾。</span></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><br /></span></div>
Soul Inspiration Centrehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00422563846612275919noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4283650696201832318.post-60680475637360270562013-11-03T14:25:00.002+08:002013-11-03T14:34:48.030+08:00适婚年龄<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<object class="BLOGGER-youtube-video" classid="clsid:D27CDB6E-AE6D-11cf-96B8-444553540000" codebase="http://download.macromedia.com/pub/shockwave/cabs/flash/swflash.cab#version=6,0,40,0" data-thumbnail-src="http://img.youtube.com/vi/9zTl_NxC_jk/0.jpg" height="266" width="320"><param name="movie" value="http://youtube.googleapis.com/v/9zTl_NxC_jk&source=uds" /><param name="bgcolor" value="#FFFFFF" /><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true" /><embed width="320" height="266" src="http://youtube.googleapis.com/v/9zTl_NxC_jk&source=uds" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true"></embed></object></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"><br /></span></b></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">“</span><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-fareast;">什么时候,才是最佳适婚年龄?</span></b><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"><b>”</b></span></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-fareast;">这个问题,其实没有</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">“</span><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-fareast;">标准答案</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">”</span><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-fareast;">。</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-fareast;"><br /></span></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-fareast;">上一代的人,</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">10</span><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-fareast;">多岁就结婚了;同辈的,平均在</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">20</span><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-fareast;">多岁结婚;现代人,</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">30</span><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-fareast;">、</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">40</span><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-fareast;">多岁才结婚的,其实也不少。</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-fareast;"><br /></span></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-fareast;">可见,所谓的</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">“</span><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-fareast;">适婚年龄</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">”</span><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-fareast;">,是会随着</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">“</span><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-fareast;">时代</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">”</span><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-fareast;">和整个</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">“</span><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-fareast;">大环境</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">”</span><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-fareast;">的改变而</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">“</span><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-fareast;">有所不同</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">”</span><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-fareast;">。</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-fareast;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-fareast;">简单来说,要衡量一个人,是否已经适合步入婚姻,可从生理、心理和经济这三大因素来做评估:</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"><o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-fareast;"><b><br /></b></span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">1)
</span><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-fareast;">生理:发育成熟、有健康的身体和良好的生活习惯,可以自我约束,愿意自我负责。</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"><o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<b><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-fareast;"><br /></span></b></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">2)
</span><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-fareast;">心理:有成熟的人格与健全的心理素质,可以妥善处理人际关系,愿意承担家庭角</span></b></div>
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<b><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-fareast;">色。</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"><o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<b><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-fareast;"><br /></span></b></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">3)
</span><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-fareast;">经济:有稳定的事业和经济收入,可以做好理财规划,愿意承担家庭开销。</span></b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-fareast;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-fareast;">当然,以上所说的,是步入婚姻的</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">“</span><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-fareast;">理想条件</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">”</span><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-fareast;">;现实中,还是有不少情侣,是因为</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">“</span><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-fareast;">感觉对了</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">”</span><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-fareast;">、</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">“</span><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-fareast;">谈恋爱很久了</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">”</span><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-fareast;">、</span><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"> </span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">“</span><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-fareast;">年龄不小了</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">” </span><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-fareast;">或是</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">“</span><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-fareast;">意外怀孕</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">”</span><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-fareast;">等因素,而选择步入婚姻。</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-fareast;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-fareast;">人们常说:</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">“</span><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-fareast;">婚姻是恋爱的坟墓</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">”</span><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-fareast;">。</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-fareast;"><br /></span></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-fareast;">如果从美国耶鲁大学社会心理学家罗伯特。斯坦伯格</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">(Robert J·Sternberg</span><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-fareast;">)提出的</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">“</span><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-fareast;">爱情三角理论</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">” (Triangular Theory of Love) </span><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-fareast;">来看,也不无道理。</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-fareast;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">“</span><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-fareast;">罗伯特。斯坦伯格认为:</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">“</span><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-fareast;">爱情由三个基本成为分组成:激情、亲密和承诺。激情是爱情中的情欲成分,是情绪上的着迷;亲密是指在爱情关系中能够引起的温暖体验;承诺指维持关系的决定期许或担保。</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">” ( “ ” </span><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-fareast;">引述自百度百科</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"><br /></span></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-fareast;">热恋中的情侣,因为受到</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">“</span><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-fareast;">爱情荷尔蒙</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">”</span><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-fareast;">的影响作用,所以是处在</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">“</span><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-fareast;">激情</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">”</span><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-fareast;">和</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">“</span><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-fareast;">亲密</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">”</span><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-fareast;">较多、</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">“</span><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-fareast;">承诺</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">”</span><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-fareast;">较少的阶段;相处时间久了,就会想要从</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">“</span><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-fareast;">激情</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">”</span><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-fareast;">和</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">“</span><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-fareast;">亲密</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">”</span><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-fareast;">,步入到重视</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">“</span><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-fareast;">承诺</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">”</span><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-fareast;">,也就是一般所谓的</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">“</span><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-fareast;">婚姻</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">”</span><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-fareast;">的阶段。</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-fareast;"><br /></span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: 宋体;">在</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">“</span><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-fareast;">传统的婚姻观念</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">”</span><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-fareast;">影响之下,许多人在</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">“</span><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-fareast;">无意识</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">”</span><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-fareast;">之中会默认:</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"><o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-fareast;"><b><br /></b></span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">“</span><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-fareast;">婚姻,是爱情理所当然的结果。</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">”<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"><b><br /></b></span></div>
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<b><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-fareast;">但现实是:</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">“</span><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-fareast;">婚姻和爱情,是两个不同的人生阶段。</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">”<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">——</span><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-fareast;">能够谈得好一场恋爱的,未必也能够处理好一段婚姻关系。</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"><o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-fareast;"><br /></span></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-fareast;">在婚姻里面,除了必须共同承担</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">“</span><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-fareast;">柴、米、油、盐、酱、醋、茶</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">”</span><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-fareast;">等生活开销以外,还必须能够持续</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">“</span><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-fareast;">刻意地经营友谊</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">”</span><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-fareast;">、</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">“</span><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-fareast;">有效地处理差异和冲突</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">”</span><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-fareast;">及</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">“</span><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-fareast;">发展健全的真我</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">”</span><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-fareast;">。</span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">( “ ” </span><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体;">引述自</span><span style="font-family: 宋体;">《亲密之旅》,</span><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体;">黄维仁博士</span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">)</span></div>
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<b><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-fareast;">简单来说:</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"><o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-fareast;"><b><br /></b></span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">“</span><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-fareast;">如果爱情是学习欣赏彼此的不同点,那么婚姻就是学习接纳彼此的差异性。</span></b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"><b>”</b><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"><br /></span></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-fareast;">夫妻之间,由于共同生活在一起,所以产生冲突和摩擦的机会,相对来说,也比朋友、恋人,来得更多。</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-fareast;"><br /></span></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-fareast;">俩人,若无法</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">“</span><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-fareast;">将心比心</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">”</span><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-fareast;">,去接纳和包容彼此的</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">“</span><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-fareast;">差异性</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">”</span><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-fareast;">和</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">“</span><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-fareast;">不完美</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">”</span><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-fareast;">,婚姻可以</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">“</span><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-fareast;">持续幸福</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">”</span><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-fareast;">下去的可能性,并不高。</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-fareast;"><br /></span></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-fareast;">若环顾四周,其实不难发现:</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">“</span><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-fareast;">因误会而结合,因了解而分开</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">”</span><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-fareast;">的例子,比比皆是。</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-fareast;"><br /></span></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-fareast;">老一辈的人常说:</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">“</span><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-fareast;">床头打架,床尾和</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">”</span><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-fareast;">;但现代人的观念则是:</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-fareast;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">“</span><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-fareast;">合则聚,不合则离。工作,不适合就换;婚姻,不适合就离。</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-fareast;">这样的一个</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">“</span><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-fareast;">新新人类观念</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">”</span><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-fareast;">,不但没有造就</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">“</span><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-fareast;">比上一代更幸福的婚姻</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">”</span><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-fareast;">,反而制造了</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">“</span><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-fareast;">比上一代更多的破碎家庭</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">”</span><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-fareast;">。</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-fareast;"><br /></span></div>
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<b><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-fareast;">所以如果你问我:</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">“</span><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-fareast;">什么时候,才是最佳适婚年龄?</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">”<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<b><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-fareast;">我想我会反问你:</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">“</span><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-fareast;">你「原生家庭」的</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">“</span><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-fareast;">未了之事</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">”(Unfinished Business)</span><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-fareast;">都完成了吗?</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">”<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">——</span><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-fareast;">你可以还没有完成,但你不能没有觉察</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">(Awareness)</span><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-fareast;">它的存在,以及它对你现有婚姻的影响。</span></b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-fareast;"><br /></span></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-fareast;">就如《高效能人士的七个习惯》作者史帝芬。柯维博士</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">(Stephen R. Covey) </span><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-fareast;">所言:</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-fareast;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">“Begin
with the end in mind”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">——“</span><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-fareast;">观念对了,方向才会正确。</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"><br /></span></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-fareast;">你若是在</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">“</span><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-fareast;">生理、心理和经济</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">”</span><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-fareast;">上,和另一半都做足了最好的准备,那么恭喜你,从现在开始的任何时刻,都是你们的</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">“</span><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-fareast;">最佳适婚年龄</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">”</span><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-fareast;">。</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-fareast;"><br /></span></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-fareast;">缺的,就只是一个</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">“</span><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-fareast;">黄道吉日</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">”</span><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-fareast;">而已。</span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"> </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span></div>
Soul Inspiration Centrehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00422563846612275919noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4283650696201832318.post-49434157720920693332013-10-20T13:33:00.000+08:002013-10-20T13:37:40.676+08:00《接纳不完美的自己》<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgVOdk4eeSN-iaWD6O0JcBcaOmAsuGsyZPvcaCafYHhOcg_h2nPX3yNoyRNvEOvjiCwONDp-JHfIMeNm6Mu8vbFel6yEulfynufsA1MIHWB2hklv3p4BsD-CE_2XPMS3mEngPAsdOPozlU/s1600/%25E9%25A3%259F%25E7%25A5%259E.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgVOdk4eeSN-iaWD6O0JcBcaOmAsuGsyZPvcaCafYHhOcg_h2nPX3yNoyRNvEOvjiCwONDp-JHfIMeNm6Mu8vbFel6yEulfynufsA1MIHWB2hklv3p4BsD-CE_2XPMS3mEngPAsdOPozlU/s1600/%25E9%25A3%259F%25E7%25A5%259E.jpg" /></a></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">曾经因为“遗传性的暴牙”,而觉得很自卑</span>...</div>
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<br /></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">后来发现“暴牙”的“功能”,其实是“伶牙俐齿”,才渐渐放下了内心的自卑感。</span></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><br /></span></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">当一个人,对自己或别人,有很多“期待”时,往往你看到的,都不会是</span><span lang="ZH-CN"> </span><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">“真实的自己或别人”,而是你期待中</span><span lang="ZH-CN"> </span><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">“理想的别人或自己”。</span></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><br /></span></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">这是一种</span><span lang="ZH-CN"> </span><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">“危险的心理投射”。</span></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><br /></span></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">你若期待自己是“美丽的”</span><span lang="ZH-CN"> </span><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">或</span><span lang="ZH-CN"> </span><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">“聪明的”,而现实中的你,是长得“一脸普通”,或</span><span lang="ZH-CN"> </span><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">“</span>IQ<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">有限”,“挫败感”,就会油然而生。</span></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><br /></span></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">我们的社会,对于一个儿童,甚至一个成年人,有太多的“</span>this
& that<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">的</span>Expectation<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">”。</span></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><br /></span></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">你若细心地去“追溯”自己对自己或他人的这些</span>Expectation<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">,是从何而来时,你会发现:</span></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">很多时候,它是我们过去的“原生家庭”或生命中的“重要他人”,在潜移默化中,“灌输”给我们的。</span></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><br /></span></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">若你再继续“追溯”下去,你会发现:</span></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><br /></span></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">这些影响我们“生命价值观”的原生家庭或重要他人的“价值观”,其实是由整个“社会群体的主流价值观”,演变而来的。</span></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><br /></span></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">诸如我“必须”长得漂亮,才会有人爱;或我“必须”很聪明,才会受人重视</span>…</div>
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<br /></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">这一些,“我必须这样”或“我必须那样”的“选择”,其实“我根本没得选择”。</span></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><br /></span></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">于是,很多人的“内在”,即使长大成人了,依然有很多的“焦虑不安”,害怕哪一天,自己“外强中干”的“假面具“会被人拆穿,一辈子,都活在“我得不到爱”或“我不被重视”的恐惧当中</span>…</div>
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<br /></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">要打破这样的“生命迷思”,首先,我们要有智慧去认清:</span></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><br /></span></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">“哪一些现实,是我没有能力改变的?”</span></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><br /></span></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">“哪一些现实,是我可以做出选择的?”</span></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><br /></span></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">譬如:我可能长得并不漂亮,可是,我能不能够“添加”自己的“知性美”呢?</span></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><br /></span></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">或者,我可能在数学方面没有天分,可是,我能不能够尽情去发挥自己的艺术才华呢?</span></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><br /></span></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">其实有好多方面,是人在长大了以后,可以“自我改善”的;可是,我们往往习惯性地,把“焦点”放在哪些我们“不足的地方”,而不是把注意力,专注在我们“擅长的部分”。</span></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><br /></span></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">我们可能一生,都在自惭形秽,怨天尤人;或埋怨环境,指责别人;却没想到,是自己白白浪费掉了上天赋予我们每个人的“独特潜能”。</span></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><br /></span></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">若我们已经尽了力,现实还是不理想,那么,我们就要学习去接纳:</span></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><br /></span></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">“人的能力是有限的,生命是没有完美的。”</span></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><br /></span></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">学习去接受,这一个“不完美的人生;学习去接纳,这一个不完美的自己。”</span></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><br /></span></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">——虽然不完美,但我依然学习去爱这一个不完美的自己。</span></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><br /></span></div>
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(<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">图片摘自网络</span>)</div>
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Soul Inspiration Centrehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00422563846612275919noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4283650696201832318.post-44980188396690078212013-09-11T22:32:00.001+08:002013-09-11T22:33:56.144+08:00与生命和解<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/SYgWHwMm9Uo?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">我们成年后不断重复的「情感模式」,很多时候是在无意识之中,重复我们幼年时和「重要他人」(一般是父母或主要照顾者)的「依附型态」。</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">如果幼年时曾经「被伤害」的经历(生理或心理上的虐待或被遗弃)没有被疗愈,我们就会在成人的关系当中,一直不断陷入幼年时的「受伤状态」;一方面是因为希望可以改写过去的惨痛经历,一方面是希望过去在当下可以得到救赎。</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">虽然理智上,我们知道那是不可能的——「过去」既无法改写,也无法在「当下」得到救赎;但潜意识的渴望,却会不断地「推动」我们「再试一次」——</span><span class="text_exposed_show" style="background-color: white; color: #333333; display: inline; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">只要再试一次,我就可以改变过去,创造不一样的未来。<br /><br /><br />为了「修复」过去的「错误」,受了伤的「内在小孩」会「不惜一切代价」去改写命运,哪怕现在已经成年的自己,会伤痕累累,甚至付出惨痛的代价...<br /><br /><br />直到成年的自己,有所觉醒:</span><br />
<span class="text_exposed_show" style="background-color: white; color: #333333; display: inline; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;"><br /></span>
<span class="text_exposed_show" style="background-color: white; color: #333333; display: inline; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;"><br />“明白过去既没有办法重来,也无法重新改写。<br /><br /><br />面对过去,我们唯一能够做的事情,就是以它「本来的面貌」去接受它。接受它就是如此的不堪,接受它就是存有遗憾,接受它就是有瑕疵、不完美。<br /><br /><br />唯有当我们愿意无条件地去接受自己过去「生命经历」中的不堪、遗憾、瑕疵和不完美,也愿意跟过去的伤痛「和解与告别」,我们才能无条件地去接受和接纳现在的自己——接受、欣赏自己的美好与独特性,也接受、接纳自己的限制和不完美。”</span><br />
<span class="text_exposed_show" style="background-color: white; color: #333333; display: inline; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;"><br /></span>Soul Inspiration Centrehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00422563846612275919noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4283650696201832318.post-48460520501714145542013-06-23T22:57:00.000+08:002013-06-24T23:24:40.619+08:00Man of Steel<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/5-YSti9Ri5k?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体;">年幼的</span>Clark
Kent<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体;">因异于常人的超感官能力备受困扰,委屈地向母亲哭诉:“</span>The
world is too big, mom.<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体;">”</span></div>
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<o:p></o:p></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><br /></span></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">门外的母亲慈祥地告诉他说:“</span>Then
make it smaller. <span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">”透过声音,引导他,专注在一个点...<br /><br />——————————————————————————————————————————————————————</span></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><br /></span></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">这些年,除了持续去上课、自我成长以外,其余的时间,都在学习着,做自己的“</span>good
enough parents<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">”。</span><o:p></o:p></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><br /></span></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">昨晚让我胃绞痛的一通电话,让体质敏感的我,想起了“</span>Man
of Steel<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">”里,</span>Clark
Kent<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">的母亲,安慰和帮助他训练感官的这个情节;也让我意识到,我的「内在小孩」一直长不大的原因,除了缺乏「足够的安全感」以外,另外一个主要的原因,是因为从小他就一直不断地在吸收周围环境的「负面情绪能量」。</span><o:p></o:p></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><br /></span></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">这个在潜意识里面运作已久的「行为模式」,今天,我是第一次,才意识到它的「存在」。</span><o:p></o:p><br />
<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><br /></span></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">无怪乎,从小到大,我会刻意地去避开父母激烈冲突的情境;而矛盾地,又会不断地去吸收他们激烈争吵后的负面情绪能量。</span><o:p></o:p></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><br /></span></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">我想,已经成年后的我,能够为自己遍体鳞伤的「内在小孩」做的一件事情,就是停止无意识地去吸收别人负面的情绪能量。</span><o:p></o:p></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><br /></span></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">要做到这一点,我得学习在自己与他人之间,建立起一个健康的「心理界限」,把别人的情绪,归还给别人,把自己的情绪,归还给自己。</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgmoKbuoNZSKsZN6UL3Wp-SKEMr_IobE4ddlQZin1Sy0ayvjmz1pKfMbhURug87a0sIFMCr7BK-faCPPqALmbfsLNwGuox2KiKUXV-mffdJ4GWKf0VxAQyfXVhJbaQy2k1V1P4E5_FOjC4/s1600/Man+of+Steel.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="384" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgmoKbuoNZSKsZN6UL3Wp-SKEMr_IobE4ddlQZin1Sy0ayvjmz1pKfMbhURug87a0sIFMCr7BK-faCPPqALmbfsLNwGuox2KiKUXV-mffdJ4GWKf0VxAQyfXVhJbaQy2k1V1P4E5_FOjC4/s640/Man+of+Steel.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体;">谢谢你,“</span>Man
of Steel<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体;">”,让我上了宝贵的一堂课。</span></div>
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Soul Inspiration Centrehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00422563846612275919noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4283650696201832318.post-37343177892493224732013-06-08T23:04:00.000+08:002013-06-13T23:17:20.660+08:00After Earth <div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">心血来潮,和同事去看了这部电影。</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgosvOkWQNXVkF4KG98E1pWOcm4BpSU1cIFyB3S9uhZWsewfYHl6xq9myBzg1h8O2PYbYMXwOT2w91CdqweN8pvMfMhAclXyeFejRU_gbEuCbJxbxOuBxnlxVOx984l1w63StK3jxbcBwY/s1600/After+Earth.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="424" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgosvOkWQNXVkF4KG98E1pWOcm4BpSU1cIFyB3S9uhZWsewfYHl6xq9myBzg1h8O2PYbYMXwOT2w91CdqweN8pvMfMhAclXyeFejRU_gbEuCbJxbxOuBxnlxVOx984l1w63StK3jxbcBwY/s640/After+Earth.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 115%;">这是继</span><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Cambria Math, serif;">《</span></span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 115%;"> </span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 115%;">The Pursuit of Happyness
</span><span style="font-family: 'Cambria Math', serif; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 115%;">≫</span><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 115%;">之后,</span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 115%;">Will Smith</span><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 115%;">和他儿子</span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 115%;">Jayden Smith</span><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 115%;">在大荧幕上的再度携手合作。</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiSY5NoH2o-bW6fvG4GVOz6k2PcrHs_8fY2k720B-Lz29dEwSof-hQuiAkIZSpnqGUW8en6n4xggTfAtPfLL0wgGNyNOgDq6o90SfzDqqDnArYVI-QUR0FsKRt4LpG6MUR9F8XUQaHI1SE/s1600/The+Pursuit+of+Happyness.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="480" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiSY5NoH2o-bW6fvG4GVOz6k2PcrHs_8fY2k720B-Lz29dEwSof-hQuiAkIZSpnqGUW8en6n4xggTfAtPfLL0wgGNyNOgDq6o90SfzDqqDnArYVI-QUR0FsKRt4LpG6MUR9F8XUQaHI1SE/s640/The+Pursuit+of+Happyness.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: 宋体;">深深地被这俩父子在戏里面默契十足的精湛演技所感动。一个眼神、一句对白、一个动作,就自然地表达出了一位严肃的父亲,对儿子「爱在心里口难开」的关切之情;和一位进入「叛逆期」的儿子,渴望获得父亲认同和肯定的赤子之心。</span></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">我相信,荧幕下的这对父子俩的亲子关系,应该也和戏里面所呈现出来的,相去不远;否则,他们无法呈现出荧幕上天衣无缝的默契。</span> </div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><br /></span></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">若你曾经学过「家庭治疗」,对于「原生家庭」有一些了解,或是对于灵性成长深感兴趣,我会建议,请不要只是带着</span>「<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">纯粹去看一部科幻动作片</span>」的心情,去看这部电影。</div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><br /></span></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">我会建议,你把你曾经学过的「家庭治疗理论」,或你所知道的灵性智慧,也一并地带进电影院,去「觉察」这部电影所要表达的「人生意境」。敞开你的心胸,用你的「觉知能力」、用你的「</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">Self</span><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">」、用你的「生命力」,去跟电影中的</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">Raige</span><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">和</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">Kitai</span><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">联结,看一看自己在看这部电影的同时,你「内在的冰山」有什么样的「变化」,你「看」到了什么,「听」到了什么,「感受」到了什么?他们怎样和自己「联结」?彼此,又是如何「互动」呢?</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/lUcNyzu4IdM?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">用「心」去感受这部电影,带给你的「体验性经验」;用「心」去感受这部电影,带给你的「积极导向」。</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><br /></span></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">祝福你:「快乐学习、勇敢成长!」</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"><o:p></o:p></span><br />
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Soul Inspiration Centrehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00422563846612275919noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4283650696201832318.post-66677733235898819572013-05-25T21:58:00.000+08:002013-05-25T22:13:26.707+08:00【星洲日报】“性不性,尊重你所选”新闻报导 <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br />Soul Inspiration Centrehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00422563846612275919noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4283650696201832318.post-66243596364302023042013-05-07T22:30:00.000+08:002013-05-09T21:51:53.660+08:00父母与教师性教育成长工作坊<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">日期:2013年06月29日(星期六)~ 06月30日(星期日)</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">时间:早上9点至下午6点</span><br />
<div class="text_exposed_root text_exposed" id="id_518ba5923ec854e33505659" style="background-color: white; color: #333333; display: inline; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">
地点:Women’s Centre for Change (WCC) 241, Jalan Burma, 10350 Penang<br />
主办:心灵重整工作室<br />
协办:台湾性学会(马来西亚分会)<br />
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讲师简介:<br />
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吴启铭<br />
<span class="text_exposed_show" style="display: inline;"><br />学历<br />台湾性学会认证合格性教育教师</span></div>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">、性咨询师</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">台湾师范大学教育心理与辅导学系学士</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">目前为台湾彰化师范大学辅导与谘商学系境外硕士研究生</span><br />
<br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;" />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">经历</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">台湾性学会(马来西亚分会)理事长</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">新纪元学院辅导与谘商心理学系咨询委员、兼任讲师</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">爱FM“爱要性福”节目嘉宾</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">《I feel》时尚杂志、南洋商报《性爱临床》副刊、《孩子》亲子杂志性教育专栏作者</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">曾为《中国报》、《东方日报》性教育专栏作者</span><br />
<br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;" />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">活动宗旨:</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">推广性教育课程。</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">提升师长的性教育知能,促进对孩子进行性教育。</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">课程目标:</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">提升师长对性教育重视的意识,并促使师长在生活中落实性教育。</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">修正师长对的性观念,并正确传达性知识。</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">促使师长以健康和正确的态度来面对和谈论性议题。</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">教育师长以妥当的方式来处理孩子的性问题。</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">研习方式:</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">讲授式课程、小组讨论、实务演练。</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">开放对象:</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">父母、小学与中学教师、社工、辅导员、义工、社会教育工作者、对此课题有兴趣之社会人士。</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">开放名额: </span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">至少25人开班。若报名人数不达标而取消将全额退款。</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">研习时数: </span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">16小时(缺席达2小时不获颁发出席证书)</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">课程架构:</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">父母不得不知的性生理知识</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">- 身体变化历程、月经、卫生棉教育、梦遗、自慰、射精等</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">父母必然担心的性心理发展</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">- 约会、恋爱、</span><br />
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<span style="color: #333333;">性行为、性骚扰、性取向、性别意识</span><br />
<span style="color: #333333;">让父母束手无策的性问题</span><br />
<span style="color: #333333;">- 喜欢裸体或自摸、撞见父母行房、接触色情、青少女怀孕</span><br />
<span style="color: #333333;">让父母冲突和挣扎的问题</span><br />
<span style="color: #333333;">- 亲子共浴、父母可否在孩子面前表现亲密行为、该不该教避孕?</span><br />
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<span style="color: #333333;">报名费用:</span><br />
<span style="color: #333333;">RM300(含讲义、证书、茶点、素食午餐)</span><br />
<span style="color: #333333;">优惠价(择一):</span><br />
<span class="text_exposed_show" style="display: inline;"><span style="color: #333333;">(一) RM230</span><br /><span style="color: #333333;">(团体价,同一学校/非盈利组织四人或以上报名者)</span><br /><span style="color: #333333;">(二) RM250</span><br /><span style="color: #333333;">(供6月3日之前完成报名与缴费者)</span><br /><span style="color: #333333;">(三) RM500</span><br /><span style="color: #333333;">(供父母一起报名者,报名截止前有效)</span><br /><br /><span style="color: #333333;">报名方式:</span><br /><span style="color: #333333;">请填妥</span><a href="https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1mkZ2yQB1nTZWGoVC1ZtN87IM2xAYKo8VC0pSu_FZaSQ/viewform" target="_blank"><b><span style="color: orange;">网上报名表格</span></b></a><span style="color: #333333;">,连同银行汇款证明副本(清楚写明中英文姓名,注明“性教育成长工作坊报名费”),Email至:</span><br /><span style="color: #333333;">银 行:Public Bank 3173-0677-26</span><br /><span style="color: #333333;">户 名:Soul Inspiration Centre </span><br /><span style="color: #333333;">电 邮:soulinspirationcentre@gmail.com </span><br /><span style="color: #333333;">面子书 :</span><a href="http://www.facebook.com/soulinspirationcentre" rel="nofollow" style="color: #3b5998; cursor: pointer; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank">www.facebook.com/soulinspirationcentre</a><br /><span style="color: #333333;">活动咨询:吴先生012-728 3991</span><br /><br /><span style="color: #333333;">截止日期:</span><br /><span style="color: #333333;">2013年6月17日(星期一)</span><br /><span style="color: #333333;">6月17日之前取消报名者,将被征收RM 50手续费,其余款项将以汇款方式退回。</span><br /><span style="color: #333333;">6月17日之后取消报名者,恕不退还报名费,唯接受由他人取代名额。</span><br /><br /><span style="color: #333333;">报到通知:</span><br /><span style="color: #333333;">为支持环保减少纸张作业,报到通知将在6月19日至25日之间以Email方式寄到各位报名者的电子信箱。敬请各位报名者以正楷写明Email地址以能成功寄达。</span></span></div>
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Soul Inspiration Centrehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00422563846612275919noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4283650696201832318.post-3562449522486043392013-03-27T22:05:00.000+08:002013-03-29T07:02:47.473+08:00《亲密之旅》婚恋情商工作坊<span id="yui_3_7_2_1_1364507739150_18128" style="background-color: white; color: red; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; font-weight: bold;"><span id="yui_3_7_2_1_1364507739150_18127" style="font-size: x-large;">爱</span></span><span id="yui_3_7_2_1_1364507739150_18116" style="background-color: white; color: #454545; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: medium;">,是人类与生俱来的情感;亲密,是我们活在爱中的渴望。我们常以为:「爱,就是给予对方一切最好的」</span><span id="yui_3_7_2_1_1364507739150_18130" style="background-color: white; color: #454545; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: medium;">。</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #454545; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: medium;">可是,</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #454545; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: medium;">却可能</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #454545; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: medium;">没有想过:「我们所给予的,是不是也是对方所期待的?」</span><br />
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<span id="yui_3_7_2_1_1364507739150_18007" style="font-size: medium;"><span id="yui_3_7_2_1_1364507739150_18126">所以在「亲密之旅」里,</span>“爱情医生”黄维仁博士的一段话:<span style="font-weight: bold;">「不是爱得更努力,而是爱得更有智慧」</span><span id="yui_3_7_2_1_1364507739150_18006">非常值得我们深思。</span></span></div>
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<span id="yui_3_7_2_1_1364507739150_17999" style="font-size: medium;">《亲密之旅》是<span id="yui_3_7_2_1_1364507739150_18008">由</span><span id="yui_3_7_2_1_1364507739150_18125">临床心理学家</span><span id="yui_3_7_2_1_1364507739150_17998">黄维仁博士</span>整合过去30年最尖端的临床实证研究及婚姻治疗课程之精华。本课程的宗旨是帮助您探索真爱、认识自我、协助您增进亲密关系, 并达到解读爱、体验爱及收获爱的目的。</span></div>
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<span style="color: blue; font-size: medium;">您,渴望在爱中建立更亲密的关系吗?</span></div>
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<span id="yui_3_7_2_1_1364507739150_18119" style="font-size: medium;"><span style="color: black;">欢迎您报名参加「</span><a href="https://www.box.com/s/oqttfhrtspqqueg877ad" target="_blank"><b><span style="color: red;">亲</span></b><b><span style="color: red;">密之旅</span></b></a><span id="yui_3_7_2_1_1364507739150_18118"><span id="yui_3_7_2_1_1364507739150_18117" style="color: black;">」工作坊,与我们一起创造更幸福美满的生活。</span></span></span></div>
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<a href="https://www.box.com/s/oqttfhrtspqqueg877ad" target="_blank"><img border="0" height="478" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEimVlSxuSvT8tjA6EznltCzS4J1p1U0Ra5RMF6I4YU8fSn0lYhJBOHwQom8q6rsIguaBzDFVIZJ-p3G7GCXfwHeVRGDXXIa2P-F_LV4xr14S6Nvzvg5C1hZ2jV4TS2HJLZaY00u5g7H9_I/s640/Journey+to+Intimacy+%25282%2529.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<span class="text_exposed_show" style="background-color: white; color: #333333; display: inline; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;"><br />课程内容:<br /><br />第一课 :爱的探索<br />第二课 :智慧存款<br />第三课 :了解差异与冲突<br />第四课 :和谐的两性关系<br />第五课 :原生家庭<br />第六课 :发展情感智慧<br />第七课 :四种依附形态<br />第八课 :亲密关系“四大杀手”<br />情绪调节“五大要诀”<br />第九课 :关系修复十大步骤<br />第十课 :寻求双赢<br />第十一课 :学习饶恕<br />第十二课 :爱的行动<br /><br />方式:自我分析、二人对话、小组演练、短片观赏等体验性活动<br /><br />日期 : 27 & 28/4/2013 (星期六&日)<br />时间 : 10am ~ 7pm<br />地点 : 槟城中路YMCA<br />适合对象 : 夫妻、情侣与单身者<br />名额 : 只限15对夫妻/ 情侣或30个人<br />报名费 : RM180(伴侣) RM120(个人)<br />(包含素食午餐、茶点、学习者手册)<br />询问电话 : 012-7283 991<br /><br />报名截至日期:23/4/2013<br />*名额只限15对夫妻/情侣或30个人<br /><br />请把报名费直接存入Soul Inspiration Centre (Public Bank 3173-0677-26)<br />并将报名表格和汇款单据电邮至:soulinspirationcentre@gmail.com</span><br />
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<span class="text_exposed_show" style="background-color: white; color: #333333; display: inline; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">有兴趣报名参加《亲密之旅》婚恋情商工作坊的学员们,可<a href="https://www.box.com/s/oqttfhrtspqqueg877ad" target="_blank"><b>点此</b></a>连接下载报名表格。</span><br />
https://www.box.com/s/oqttfhrtspqqueg877ad<a href="https://www.box.com/s/oqttfhrtspqqueg877ad" target="_blank">https://www.box.com/s/oqttfhrtspqqueg877ad</a>Soul Inspiration Centrehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00422563846612275919noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4283650696201832318.post-73607851586389046292013-01-24T19:18:00.002+08:002013-01-24T19:24:33.818+08:00《The Impossible》<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEip-gQwagb8ysUh9j9b12AjubV97GnXFCa71hMglorygrFapD1rhw5nytyf_ZdBq4Oi1OkNY6OUEOgXfKTZJyWwwFUYpDEY5Lwj73q6GHob6SnUTPq-t07wUrtfZYhNfm22CP5SYY0O0lY/s1600/The+Impossible.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEip-gQwagb8ysUh9j9b12AjubV97GnXFCa71hMglorygrFapD1rhw5nytyf_ZdBq4Oi1OkNY6OUEOgXfKTZJyWwwFUYpDEY5Lwj73q6GHob6SnUTPq-t07wUrtfZYhNfm22CP5SYY0O0lY/s400/The+Impossible.jpg" width="278" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: SimSun;">朋友约了我,去看了这部电影。</span></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">那时,我没有想过,这部电影,会给我带来怎样的影响。我只是纯粹抱着一</span><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">种</span><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">看电影的心态,去看了这部电影。</span></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">说真的,这部电影,对我来说,很有教育性,也很有启发性。</span></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">它让我看到了人类在灾难之中,人性中,最美好的一面;也让我看到了一个家庭,如何齐心合力,渡过了生命中最黑暗的一段岁月。</span></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">一开始,电影里的主角,就跟其他人一样,带着一颗愉快的心情,来到了</span>Khao
<span lang="EN-US">Lak</span><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">度假。他们</span><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">完全没有预料到,生命中,会有这么大的一个灾难,即将向他们扑来;也想像不到,这一场大灾难,会让这一个幸福美满的家庭,面临生离死别的痛苦考验。</span></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">生命是无常的,谁,也无法预料得到。</span></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">一场突如其来的大海啸,活生生地拆开了一对恩爱的夫妻,也活生生地拆散了一对尽责的父母和三个孩子,彼此之间的联系。</span></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">当无情的海浪,从高处扑打而下,吞噬了整栋酒店后,画面陷入了一整片的黑暗,有好几秒钟的时间那么久。</span></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">但这几秒钟的时间,却好像几个世纪那么久。</span></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">身处在画面之外的我,仿佛感觉自己,就在这一场海啸里面,面对死亡的威胁,是多么地恐慌、无助、害怕。</span></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">当画面重新恢复正常时,我看到的,是一个母子情深的画面,母亲为了拯救儿子,即使身负重伤,也绝不放弃;儿子为了拯救母亲,也一样奋不顾身,置生死于度外。</span></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">这一幕,实在很惊险。</span></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">好不容易,她们终于化险为夷。两个人,抱着浮在海面上的树干求生。惊恐不安的儿子,告诉母亲:“我曾经是个勇敢的孩子,但现在我真的很害怕。”母亲把嘴唇凑近儿子的耳朵,坦诚地、一致性地告诉儿子说:“我也很害怕。”</span></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">经历千辛万苦,母子俩终于离开了危险的海面。</span></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">就在他们想要爬上不远处的一个巨树避难时,俩人听到了一个孩子救助的声音。儿子要求母亲和他在下一个巨浪来临之前,爬上巨树避难;但母亲坚持要去救那一个救助的孩子。</span></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">母亲反问儿子:“如果那一个救助的孩子是你的弟弟呢?如果他们需要帮助呢?”儿子含着泪倔强地告诉母亲:“弟弟他们已经死了。”</span></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">母亲不放弃地劝告儿子:“就当这是我们能够做的最后一件事情。”</span></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">当他们在废墟之中找到救助的孩子时,儿子问他说:“你好吗?你叫什么名字?”惊吓过度的孩子一时答不出来。儿子就告诉那孩子说:“我叫</span><span lang="EN-US">Lucas</span><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">,你叫什么名字?”那孩子就告诉</span><span lang="EN-US">Lucas</span><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">,他叫</span><span lang="EN-US">Daniel</span><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">。</span><span lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">于是,</span><span lang="EN-US">Lucas</span><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">就背着</span><span lang="EN-US">Daniel</span><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">,和母亲向着巨树往上爬。</span><span lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">在安顿好</span><span lang="EN-US">Daniel</span><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">过后,</span><span lang="EN-US">Lucas</span><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">要下来协助母亲爬上巨树;但母亲要</span><span lang="EN-US">Lucas</span><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">待在原地,她相信自己可以办得到。然而她的脚,实在伤得太严重了,没有办法自行爬上巨树;孝顺的</span><span lang="EN-US">Lucas</span><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">就从树上下来,用他的双手和肩膀,费力地,把母亲托上巨树。</span><span lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">在巨树上,</span><span lang="EN-US">Lucas</span><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">把他在海面上捡到的汽水,递给母亲解渴。虚弱的母亲,喝了一口后,递给了</span><span lang="EN-US">Daniel</span><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">;</span><span lang="EN-US">Daniel</span><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">再把它,还回给</span><span lang="EN-US">Lucas</span><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">。</span><span lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">像天使般的</span><span lang="EN-US">Daniel</span><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">,伸出他的小手,去抚慰疲惫的</span><span lang="EN-US">Lucas</span><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">母亲的那一幕,好美。</span><span lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">及后,在村民的帮助下,母亲和</span><span lang="EN-US">Lucas</span><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">被送到了医院。</span><span lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">病床上,母亲问隔壁床的灾民,她叫什么名字。灾民不回答,母亲自我揭露:“我叫</span><span lang="EN-US">Maria</span><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">,你叫什么名字?”</span><span lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">从这里,回想</span><span lang="EN-US">Maria</span><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">和</span><span lang="EN-US">Lucas</span><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">发现</span><span lang="EN-US">Daniel</span><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">时,</span><span lang="EN-US">Lucas</span><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">也是用了同样的方式,去引导</span><span lang="EN-US">Daniel</span><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">,就不难发现,</span><span lang="EN-US">Maria</span><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">这个母亲,想必在日常生活当中,以身作则,去教育孩子,</span><span lang="EN-US">Lucas</span><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">才会懂得以同样的方式,去对待别人。</span><span lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">看着医院里头人杂声嘈的环境,</span><span lang="EN-US">Maria</span><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">嘱咐</span><span lang="EN-US">Lucas</span><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">需要去做一些事情,去看看有什么是他帮得上忙的,也肯定他,有能力去帮助别人。从这一点,证明</span><span lang="EN-US">Maria</span><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">这一个母亲,不仅是一个尽责的母亲;同时,也是一个有仁爱之心的医生。</span><span lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">回过头来,在巨浪之中,父亲和</span><span lang="EN-US">Maria</span><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">及</span><span lang="EN-US">Lucas</span><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">失散了。心急如焚的他,四处寻找妻儿的下落,却遍寻不获。</span><span lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">凌乱的酒店房间里,父亲</span><span lang="EN-US">Henry</span><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">问二儿子</span><span lang="EN-US">Thomas</span><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">:“你知道我最怕的是什么吗?”</span><span lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US">Thomas</span><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">回答:“是巨浪冲击时吗?”</span><span lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">父亲告诉</span><span lang="EN-US">Thomas</span><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">:“是过后当我上来时,发现就只有我自己一个人;然后我看到你们两个时,我就不再害怕了。”</span><span lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">就跟</span><span lang="EN-US">Maria</span><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">在海面上告诉</span><span lang="EN-US">Lucas</span><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">的那样,</span><span lang="EN-US">Henry</span><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">在这里也很坦诚地、一致性地,向</span><span lang="EN-US">Thomas</span><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">表达了他内在最深层的恐惧。</span><span lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">个人认为,坦诚地表露自己的情绪,对于一个成年人来说,是非常难得的;因为活在这个现实世界里的我们,早已经学会了自我保护,也尽量避免让自己去接触自己内在最深层,也是最真实的情绪,更何况是向他人,表露自己的脆弱和恐惧。</span><span lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">这真的不仅仅只是适合青少年,也是适合父母和孩子一起观赏的一部教育性电影。</span><span lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">一心想要找回妻儿的</span><span lang="EN-US">Henry</span><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">,可说是踏破铁鞋;无奈造化弄人,不仅连失散的妻儿没找到,却连原本在自己身边的两个孩子,也失去了踪影。</span><span lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">但靠着坚强的信念,和命运的巧妙安排,一个因为海啸,而经历了生离死别的家庭,终于在人潮汹涌的医院门外,重新团圆。</span><span lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">父子失散后又再度重逢的画面,让人感觉松了一口气。</span><span lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">医院内,</span><span lang="EN-US">Henry</span><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">告诉</span><span lang="EN-US">Lucas</span><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">:“谢谢你!谢谢你照顾母亲。”</span><span lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US">Lucas</span><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">回应父亲:“我们互相照顾彼此。”</span><span lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">再一次,让人看到了这一个家庭里面,亲子之间的良好互动。</span><span lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">手术室内,</span><span lang="EN-US">Maria</span><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">再度遇到了她入院时,在她隔壁床的灾民,告诉即将失去生存意志的</span><span lang="EN-US">Maria</span><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">:“我也有亲人。我之所以保存力气,就是为了可以再度和亲人再见一面。”</span><span lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">当护士为</span><span lang="EN-US">Maria</span><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">输送麻醉药时,</span><span lang="EN-US">Maria</span><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">为了安抚</span><span lang="EN-US">Lucas</span><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">的那句对白:“</span><span lang="EN-US">Close your eyes. Think of something nice.</span><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">”又再度地响起。不同的是,这一次,被安抚的对象,是</span><span lang="EN-US">Maria</span><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">。</span><span lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">飞机上,一家人终于团圆了。</span><span lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US">Lucas</span><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">走向躺在病床上的</span><span lang="EN-US">Maria</span><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">。</span><span lang="EN-US">Maria</span><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">给了他一个深深的拥抱,告诉他:“我很爱你!”</span><span lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US">Lucas</span><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">告诉</span><span lang="EN-US">Maria</span><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">:“在医院内,我看到了</span><span lang="EN-US">Daniel</span><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">,笑得很开心。他在某个人的怀抱里。我打赌那一定是他的父亲。”</span><span lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"> Maria</span><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">遥望飞机外,满目疮夷的村庄,一滴泪,从她脸庞,滑落下来</span><span lang="EN-US">…<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">“</span><span lang="EN-US">Nothing is more
powerful than the human spirit</span><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">”是这部电影的宣传主题。</span><span lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">在这部以真实故事为剧本的电影里,我看到了,人类在灾难之中,人性中,最美好的一面;也从这部电影的女主角</span><span lang="EN-US">Maria</span><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">的身上,看到了“天道无亲,常与善人”的人生至理。</span><span lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">——当我们付出爱,去帮助别人,渡过生命中的难关;总有一天,这份爱,会回到我们自己身上,帮助我们,渡过生命中的难关。</span><span lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">图片摘自:</span><span lang="EN-US"><a href="http://www.impawards.com/2012/impossible_ver11.html">http://www.impawards.com/2012/impossible_ver11.html</a><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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Soul Inspiration Centrehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00422563846612275919noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4283650696201832318.post-54492907288703176292013-01-17T22:00:00.000+08:002013-01-17T22:05:33.675+08:00莫往外求<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi_Bte2JQ0rKqmevMRsy9l3PkjEFYK4MqWO7IIJInCrpcjSRn3W5fyuH4KtABxLhYHkuWrhJBbIcnT8M0ezrY9r7ad5IUSRaBS9tc0JO1JM2E0TrqKS2RQUr_TLwqnbNFSh9tINq0Fj0GY/s1600/listen+to+your+heart.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="250" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi_Bte2JQ0rKqmevMRsy9l3PkjEFYK4MqWO7IIJInCrpcjSRn3W5fyuH4KtABxLhYHkuWrhJBbIcnT8M0ezrY9r7ad5IUSRaBS9tc0JO1JM2E0TrqKS2RQUr_TLwqnbNFSh9tINq0Fj0GY/s400/listen+to+your+heart.jpeg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: SimSun;">我们的「社会」,从未「教导」我们,如何「了解自己」;更别说,如何「同理他人」。</span><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun;">所以「指责</span><span style="font-family: SimSun;">」</span><span style="font-family: SimSun;">的</span><span style="font-family: SimSun;">「</span><span style="font-family: SimSun;">声音」,可以从一个人对另外一个人,一个团体对另外一个团体,一个社会对另外一个社会,一个国家对另外一个国家,持续发展到世界的各个角落。</span></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">“都是你的错!”</span><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun;">——这是我们常常听到的</span><span style="font-family: SimSun;">。</span></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">「反观自身」,我们却从未「质疑」过,自己的「想法」,在别人的身上,是不是额外的一种「负担」?</span><o:p></o:p></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">在我们汲汲于想要「证明」自己是「对」的同时,我们有没有想过,对方未必是「错」的?只不过大家的</span><span style="font-family: SimSun;">「想法」、</span><span style="font-family: SimSun;">「立场」不同,「选择」不一样而已。</span><br />
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">为什么我们要一再地「要求」别人「证明」,自己是「对」的呢?</span><o:p></o:p></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">有没有「可能」,在我们的内心深处,我们「害怕」自己,是「错」的呢?</span><o:p></o:p></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">我们不愿意去「看见」自己的「恐惧」,却一再地想要「藉由」别人,来「逃避」面对自己,「内心最真实的感受」。</span></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">毕竟「面对自己」,是「困难」的;而「指责别人」,相对来说,却「容易」得多。</span><o:p></o:p></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">我们就这样,一直地「往外求」。</span></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">越往外求,我们就越「迷失自己」;越迷失自己,我们就越「往外求」。</span></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">我们忘了,「自心自性,就在自己心里,何须外求?」</span></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">求到了,不见得真的快乐;求不到,更是痛苦不堪。</span></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">何苦呢?</span></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">图片摘自:</span><a href="http://www.wallpaper4me.com/google-skin/Listen-To-Your-Heart/">http://www.wallpaper4me.com/google-skin/Listen-To-Your-Heart/</a> </div>
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Soul Inspiration Centrehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00422563846612275919noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4283650696201832318.post-14120243047615009102013-01-08T08:51:00.001+08:002013-01-08T08:51:10.067+08:00无条件自我接纳<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQkvxjkJNJEwVh1h9-3G5n4fTVw_JGUIhJnTRzVp2UhU3iRG8LsC0Hh0QFq2nVpjjDacrXi4HTPR__ETo1q0NEieQSe_6bzG1PXplDCE6DFZwmnlnnSmMEtiM__Mr9ufVvWW9QWQ87V7E/s1600/%E8%BF%98%E6%88%91%E6%9C%AC%E6%9D%A5%E9%9D%A2%E7%9B%AE.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQkvxjkJNJEwVh1h9-3G5n4fTVw_JGUIhJnTRzVp2UhU3iRG8LsC0Hh0QFq2nVpjjDacrXi4HTPR__ETo1q0NEieQSe_6bzG1PXplDCE6DFZwmnlnnSmMEtiM__Mr9ufVvWW9QWQ87V7E/s400/%E8%BF%98%E6%88%91%E6%9C%AC%E6%9D%A5%E9%9D%A2%E7%9B%AE.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<span id="goog_934928122"></span><span id="goog_934928123"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: SimSun;">从小,就是一个「与众不同」的人。</span><br />
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">但这样的一个与众不同,却被冠上「自闭」、「孤僻」与「情绪化」的称号。</span></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">而我,也一直那么地「深信不疑」。</span><o:p> </o:p></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">所以在内心深处,我有很深的「罪恶」和「自卑感」。</span><o:p> </o:p></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">也因为自卑,所以我不认为:「我是一个值得被爱的人」。</span><o:p> </o:p></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">这样的「观念」,一直「伴随」着我的生命成长。</span><o:p> </o:p></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">直到今天,我才发现:</span><o:p> </o:p></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">「过去」我对于我自己的「看法」,未必是</span>100%
<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">「正确」的。或许被歧视的感受,是「真实」的;但想法,则「不尽然如此」。</span><o:p> </o:p></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">我之所以会有今天对于我自己的「一套」看法,是基于过去我所经历过的「经验」</span><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">和「感受」:</span><o:p> </o:p></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">——童年生活里被「排斥」的经验,导致我有严重的「自卑感」——〉我的「自卑感」,促使我「相信」——〉「我就是一个没有价值、不值得被爱的人」。</span><o:p> </o:p></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">但不管是「感受」或「想法」,其实都是可以「改变」的;只要感受或想法一改变,「自我」也会跟着一起改变。</span><o:p> </o:p></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">这是「家庭治疗」里面,冰山的转化过程。</span><o:p> </o:p></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">那是几年前,我学到的治疗理论。</span><o:p> </o:p></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">虽然这几年,我都没有实际地在操作和运用;但今天我对于「转化」的这个部分,却因为生命的体验和成长,而有了更深一层的「领悟」,那就是——</span><o:p> </o:p></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">「深层的疗愈,是在「关系」里面「发生」的。治疗师用他的「</span>Self<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">」,去疗愈当事人的「</span>Self<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">」;或者更精确一点来说,是治疗师用他的</span>Self (<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">或生命力</span>)<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">,去「启动」当事人的</span>Self
(<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">或生命力</span>)<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">,来疗愈他自己。</span><o:p> </o:p></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">而所谓的「转化」,其实并不需要那么刻意地「精雕细琢」;因为当事人在经历了人生那么漫长的一个「生命旅程」过后,「肯定」有一些「部分」,是跟过去,「不一样」了。况且,一个人可以熬过那么「艰难」的成长过程,可见他「一定」具有一些,别人所没有的「内在资源」;而做为一个治疗师,所需要做的,就只是把当事人身上的这一个「亮点」,像点蜡烛那样,轻轻地点出来,让他内在的这一份烛光,温暖他自己、照亮他自己的心房。」</span></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">就个人的经历而言,我得承认,「无条件的自我接纳」,的确是人生当中,最具有「挑战性」,而且不容易完成的一件事情</span>
(<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">尤其是对于那些曾经遭遇「不幸童年」的人而言</span>) <span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">;但同时,我也得承认,「无条件的自我接纳」,也是人生当中,当你能够完成时,最富有「意义」和「成就感」,也是最值得为自己感到「骄傲」和「自豪」的一件事情。</span><o:p> </o:p></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">在你能够「无条件自我接纳」时,生命,可说已经完成了它最终级的「成长目标」;因为你,已经成为了一个「真正的你」。你活着,就只是因为你活着,而不需要任何「附带条件」,才能「显现」出「你活着的意义和价值」。</span><o:p> </o:p></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">「你充满生命力的活着,对生命而言,就是对全人类,最伟大的一个贡献。」</span><o:p> </o:p></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">因为你,「成为了你自己」。</span><o:p> </o:p></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">当生命中发生一些你能力无法「理解」的事情时,你不再汲汲于四处「寻找答案」,而是「臣服」于宇宙间,「更伟大的一个力量」,轻轻地在心里面,告诉自己:</span><o:p> </o:p></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">「</span><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">我接受一切事情的发生,也愿意去相信,一切事情发生的背后,有它存在的意义和目的。</span><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">」</span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">图片摘自:千千度【好书推荐】《还我本来面目》如何接纳自我和欣赏生命</span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
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<a href="http://qqiandu.com/?p=1895"><span style="color: blue;">http://qqiandu.com/?p=1895</span></a><o:p> </o:p></div>
Soul Inspiration Centrehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00422563846612275919noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4283650696201832318.post-6967220407867495542013-01-01T10:11:00.000+08:002013-01-01T10:17:57.179+08:00《海洋天堂》<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgvldsgBabBY1hwuh0IS7SntqQg-1k9eRBbaPQNnxeuz5fLEkvs-OFGqhRgfeHXIPqYlal2eSIRUPH0RRFUMwz0T4AOWgfekOlWtDA-uqIGxTe-PyBi3w60E2_v6-phZZPECYxjYhm_lJU/s1600/%E6%B5%B7%E6%B4%8B%E5%A4%A9%E5%A0%82.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgvldsgBabBY1hwuh0IS7SntqQg-1k9eRBbaPQNnxeuz5fLEkvs-OFGqhRgfeHXIPqYlal2eSIRUPH0RRFUMwz0T4AOWgfekOlWtDA-uqIGxTe-PyBi3w60E2_v6-phZZPECYxjYhm_lJU/s400/%E6%B5%B7%E6%B4%8B%E5%A4%A9%E5%A0%82.jpg" width="272" /></a></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">迎向</span>2013<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">年的前一天,我看了李连杰主演的这一部电影——《海洋天堂》。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><o:p> </o:p></span><br />
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">从《黄飞鸿》时代,开始看李连杰的电影。我想,这应该是他从影以来,最具有挑战性的一个电影「角色」。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><o:p> </o:p></span><br />
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">剧里面,没有《黄飞鸿》时代里,「干净利落」的身手;没有《中南海保镖》里,打不死的「英雄气概」;也没有《功夫之王》里,「沉稳内敛」的出世修为。</span><span lang="ZH-CN"><u1:p> </u1:p></span><o:p> </o:p><br />
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">有的,只是一个再平凡不过的「父亲」角色,患了末期肝癌,为了确保「孤独症」的孩子,在自己离开尘世后,可以「生存」下去,竭尽所能,四处奔波,为他寻找庇护之所,用自己剩余的生命,训练孩子,独立生活。</span><u1:p><span lang="ZH-CN"> </span></u1:p><o:p> </o:p><br />
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">剧中有好几幕,让我印象深刻。</span><u1:p><span lang="ZH-CN"> </span></u1:p><o:p> </o:p><br />
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">其中的一幕,是老王安置好大福的栖身之所后,搀扶着刘校长,下楼梯时的对话。</span><u1:p><span lang="ZH-CN"> </span></u1:p><o:p></o:p><br />
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">老王说:“其实,孤独症也挺好的。活在自己的世界里,也不用惦着。我走的时候,大福一点不舍的样子也没有。”</span><u1:p><span lang="ZH-CN"> </span></u1:p><br />
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">校长即刻纠正老王说:“你应该知道啊!大福不会像正常人一样,去表达感情。”</span><u1:p><span lang="ZH-CN"> </span></u1:p><o:p></o:p><br />
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">老王感慨地说:“我也没指望大福给我斟茶倒水什么的。他现在能这样,挺好的,挺好。我知足。”</span><u1:p><span lang="ZH-CN"> </span></u1:p><br />
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">校长拍拍老王的肩膀,紧握着老王的手,两人互相表达安慰。</span><u1:p><span lang="ZH-CN"> </span></u1:p><o:p> </o:p><br />
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">那天晚上,大福不习惯寄宿生活,老王到宿舍来陪他。</span><u1:p><span lang="ZH-CN"> </span></u1:p><o:p> </o:p><br />
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">夜深了,老王为大福缝衣服。</span><u1:p><span lang="ZH-CN"> </span></u1:p><o:p> </o:p><br />
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">老王问大福:“大福,有一天爸爸不陪你了,你会想我的,是吧?”</span><u1:p><span lang="ZH-CN"> </span></u1:p><o:p> </o:p><br />
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">大福机械式地重复老王的话:“你会想我的,是吧?”</span><u1:p><span lang="ZH-CN"> </span></u1:p><o:p> </o:p><br />
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">尔后,老王看着已经入睡的大福,自言自语地说:“我会想你的</span>…<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">我会想你的</span>…<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">”</span><u1:p><span lang="ZH-CN"> </span></u1:p><o:p> </o:p><br />
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">剧中,不断听到老王对大福重复地说:</span><u1:p><span lang="ZH-CN"> </span></u1:p><o:p> </o:p><br />
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">“大福,真棒!”</span><u1:p><span lang="ZH-CN">
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">“大福,真聪明!”</span><u1:p><span lang="ZH-CN"> </span></u1:p><o:p> </o:p><br />
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">这么平凡的一句「赞美」之词,别说是在孤独症者身上,就算是在一般正常儿女的身上,也很难从父母口中,轻易地听到。</span><u1:p><span lang="ZH-CN"> </span></u1:p><o:p> </o:p><br />
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">另外一幕让我影响深刻的,是老王扮演海龟和大福在水池中游泳,筋疲力竭时,和唐总的一番对话。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><o:p> </o:p></span><br />
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">老王说:“说实话,我到现在,也不相信大福他妈,会在水里出意外。”</span><u1:p><span lang="ZH-CN"> </span></u1:p><o:p></o:p><br />
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">唐总不明白老王这句话,是什么意思。</span><u1:p><span lang="ZH-CN"> </span></u1:p><o:p> </o:p><br />
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">老王跟唐总解释:“大福他妈,从小特别爱他。每天都抱着他、拉着他,在水里跑来跑去。后来查出大福有病,他妈一直面对不了,我也没怪她,不是每个人都能面对这种事的。”</span><o:p> </o:p><br />
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">平凡的一句话,再次一语道出了「同理心」,对建立「亲密关系」的重要性。</span><u1:p><span lang="ZH-CN"> </span></u1:p><o:p> </o:p><br />
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">若不是「将心比心」的「生命态度」,又何来对妻子轻生的深度「理解」和对儿子孤独症的无私「包容」呢?</span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><o:p> </o:p></span><br />
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">虽然最终老王还是敌不过癌症的侵蚀,撒手西归;但他生前最放不下的一件事,也因为他活着时的坚持和努力,使孤独症的大福,凭借着父子之间的「情感记忆」,学会了独立生活。</span><u1:p><span lang="ZH-CN"> </span></u1:p><o:p> </o:p><br />
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">或许,孤独症的「存在」,是为了让我们看到这世界的另一面:</span><u1:p><span lang="ZH-CN"> </span></u1:p><o:p> </o:p><br />
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">——什么是「同理心」,什么是「理解」,什么是「有意义和爱的联结」?</span><u1:p><span lang="ZH-CN"> </span></u1:p><o:p> </o:p><br />
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">愿这全新的</span>2013<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">年,身边的你我他,可以更有觉知、更有同理心、更懂得如何与他人建立「有意义和爱的联结」的「亲密关系」。</span><u1:p><span lang="ZH-CN"> </span></u1:p><o:p> </o:p><br />
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">图片摘自:</span>21cn.com <br />
<a href="http://et.21cn.com/movie/oumei/2010/06/17/7595452.shtml"><span style="color: blue;">http://et.21cn.com/movie/oumei/2010/06/17/7595452.shtml</span></a><o:p> </o:p>Soul Inspiration Centrehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00422563846612275919noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4283650696201832318.post-23868838791490079392012-12-27T21:58:00.002+08:002012-12-27T22:01:14.167+08:00感恩<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEibn-UHMdcGUq5u7djhfCdWXPzRZeUhA9K1oVE79s-LlswwtvHM8cGqQ3NBG67B9gN3oj7_ItO1VkfWhhQ7Fixurn0z5c_CdH98IMCJwgWBxkf8uNook9Q-ePlzrZ6fxiHOu0lWfEAIWy4/s1600/%25E6%2584%259F%25E6%2581%25A9.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="311" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEibn-UHMdcGUq5u7djhfCdWXPzRZeUhA9K1oVE79s-LlswwtvHM8cGqQ3NBG67B9gN3oj7_ItO1VkfWhhQ7Fixurn0z5c_CdH98IMCJwgWBxkf8uNook9Q-ePlzrZ6fxiHOu0lWfEAIWy4/s400/%25E6%2584%259F%25E6%2581%25A9.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">以前的自己,是一个不懂得「</span><span lang="ZH-CN"> </span><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">感恩」的人。</span><br />
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">缺乏「爱和温暖」的童年,使我在成长的过程中,始终往外追求,无止尽的爱,来填补自己内在,无底的黑洞。</span><o:p> </o:p></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">但不管别人再怎么努力,付出再多的爱,内在的我,始终没有办法可以被「满足」。</span><o:p> </o:p></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">也因为如此,一些本来美好的关系,破裂了;一些本来善良的人,离开了。</span><o:p> </o:p></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">我再度「陷入」了童年「</span><span lang="ZH-CN"> </span><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">孤苦无依」的生活,在黑暗中,咬紧牙关,像渴望阳光的树藤般,往上攀升;盼望有那么一天,可以看见生命,那一道温暖的曙光,滋润自己枯竭的灵魂。</span><o:p> </o:p></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">我很幸运。</span><o:p> </o:p></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">我的确很幸运。</span><o:p> </o:p></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">我幸运地遇到了我的包租婆,幸运地在这个「</span><span lang="ZH-CN"> </span><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">半家庭」里面,住了整整一年。</span><o:p> </o:p></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">这一年的「</span><span lang="ZH-CN"> </span><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">半家庭」生活,让我重新感受到母亲离开以后,遗忘已久的「家庭温暖」。</span><o:p> </o:p></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">这一年的「</span><span lang="ZH-CN"> </span><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">半家庭」生活,我仿佛经历了一次「家庭重塑」的心理治疗,用成人的身份,回到了我的童年,以成人的眼光,重新去看待自己的「原生家庭」和「生命脚本」。</span><o:p> </o:p></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">这感觉是很奇妙的。</span><o:p> </o:p></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">虽然你好像在「重新经历」自己「悲惨的童年」,可是你对于自己「不幸的遭遇」,却有了一番「不一样」的「体会」和「视野」。</span><o:p> </o:p></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">「你在这一堆不堪入目的烂泥之中,挖掘出自己内在最珍贵的黄金」。</span><o:p> </o:p></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">感谢我的包租婆,在这一年的「</span><span lang="ZH-CN"> </span><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">半家庭」生活里,给了我最真实、最温暖的依靠。</span><o:p> </o:p></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">「</span><span lang="ZH-CN"> </span><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">生命是一段奇妙的旅程」。</span><o:p> </o:p></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">很多时候,你以为自己已经「</span><span lang="ZH-CN"> </span><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">山穷水尽」了;可是冥冥中,「</span><span lang="ZH-CN"> </span><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">柳暗花明又一村」。</span><o:p> </o:p></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">「只要不放弃,只要怀抱希望,坚定信仰,奇迹,往往就会发生」。</span><o:p> </o:p></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">「</span><span lang="ZH-CN"> </span><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">只要你愿意为自己的生命负责,愿意去宽恕自己、原谅别人;而不是一味地埋怨别人、指责自己或诅咒命运,恩典的大门,迟早会为你而开」。</span><o:p> </o:p></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">「而感恩,就是进入恩典大门,最有效的通行证」。</span><o:p> </o:p></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">我很幸运。</span></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">我的确很幸运。</span><o:p> </o:p></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">我幸运地在这一段《寻找真爱的旅程》中,遇到了许许多多,愿意无私教导,愿意「以生命做陪伴」的良师益友。</span><o:p> </o:p></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">是他们,启发了我,进入了感恩的「</span><span lang="ZH-CN"> </span><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">世外桃源」。</span><o:p> </o:p></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">是他们,让我看到生命是由许许多多的「</span><span lang="ZH-CN"> </span><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">因缘」所「成就」,而不是单靠一个人的力量。</span><o:p> </o:p></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">是他们,以身作则,让我学会了付出,学会了在爱与被爱之间,「</span><span lang="ZH-CN"> </span><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">心存感恩」。</span><o:p> </o:p></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">感恩</span>~ <span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">感恩</span>~ <span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">感恩</span>~<o:p> </o:p></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">感恩佛菩萨,感恩一切众生,让我学会了感恩。</span><o:p> </o:p></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">图片摘自:昵图网</span></div>
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<a href="http://www.nipic.com/show/4/79/6706245k78ae9637.html"><span style="color: blue;">http://www.nipic.com/show/4/79/6706245k78ae9637.html</span></a></div>
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<o:p> </o:p></div>
Soul Inspiration Centrehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00422563846612275919noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4283650696201832318.post-82579475608422652862012-11-27T22:17:00.001+08:002012-11-27T22:20:01.991+08:00无条件的接纳<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">记忆中的「父亲」,是一个「权威、固执、脾气暴躁、滥赌和经常不在家」的大「男人」;「母亲」呢,则是一位「善良、节俭、忍耐、退缩和顾家」的传统「女人」。</span><br />
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">常年累月,剑拔弩张、争执不停的夫妻关系,让童年时期,「内向又敏感」的我,「孤独、叛逆、自我保护意识强烈」。</span><br />
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">跟「孝顺」的大哥、「「聪明」的二哥、「活泼」的小妹和「可爱」小弟比起来,童年的我,自觉「黯然失色」。</span><br />
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">所以在「家」里面,「沉默」和「讨好」,成为了我,避开父母之间激烈的争吵,和自我保护的一种「生存模式」。</span><br />
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">「原生家庭」的影响,使我在人际关系上,一直都缺乏「安全感」,无法坦然地,和别人建立和谐的「亲密关系」,也让我度过了一段漫长、孤独、愤世嫉俗的少年期。</span><br />
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">步入青年期的我,在「人生的道路」上,遇到了很多的「挫折和失败」。</span><br />
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">在「人生的低潮期」,曾经「钻牛角尖」,也想过「自寻短见」。</span><br />
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">「可是冥冥中,生命自有它的安排。」冥冥中,它安排了我,成为了一名义工,成为了一位「助人者」。</span><br />
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">从那个时候开始,我经历了生命当中,一段漫长的「自我探索」之旅,不断地去「发现自己」活着的「价值」,重新「了解生命」存在的「意义」。即便是到了今天,这一项「伟大的生命工程」,依旧持续不断地在进行着。</span></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">在一个又一个充满「支持、同理和无条件接纳」的学习环境当中,我一度以为,他人的「支持、同理和无条件接纳」,是「理所当然」的。我也一度以为,只要能够找到一个可以「支持、同理和无条件接纳」自己的人,我人生当中所有的紧张、焦虑和恐惧,都可以一一消除。</span><br />
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">「可是冥冥中,生命自有它的安排。」冥冥中,它安排了我,一场又一场美丽的「邂逅」,和一次又一次痛苦的「分离」。</span><br />
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">「所有的关系,就像一面照妖镜」,让我清楚地看到,「我究竟在害怕的是什么?」「我需要学习的又是什么?」</span><br />
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">是的,我既害怕「亲密」,又害怕「分离」;而我需要学习的,是如何在「亲密关系」当中,有效地「沟通」,接纳「差异」和解决「冲突」。</span><br />
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">这一些,我都看到了,也学到了。</span></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">我「无条件的接纳」自己,为一个「完整的个体」,有「喜怒哀乐」,也有「七情六欲」,会伤心、会难过、也会犯错。我接纳这一切,是生命迈向「成长」的一个「过程」,而非「结果」。</span><br />
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">我「无条件的接纳」「现在趋向成熟的自己」,也「无条件的接纳」「过去因无知而犯错」的自己。</span></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">我,</span><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">「</span><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">愿意</span><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">」</span><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">给我自己的生命,一次成长的</span><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">「</span><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">机会</span><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">」</span><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">我「无条件的接纳」我自己。</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgfSKnQzQ_MK-SfOhaTbJVxrqi-cnsJnKom7u7GcYbAhteH9DnzmFBAsRlW_c-UkLCgUzzbBIu8PaqQ01jkc2pp8TX8-Ecmh3ifYfzpzWIn20mudkJzZli7P3gap6E_qYjZbw-ZaRUYoys/s1600/%E6%97%A0%E6%9D%A1%E4%BB%B6%E7%9A%84%E7%88%B1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgfSKnQzQ_MK-SfOhaTbJVxrqi-cnsJnKom7u7GcYbAhteH9DnzmFBAsRlW_c-UkLCgUzzbBIu8PaqQ01jkc2pp8TX8-Ecmh3ifYfzpzWIn20mudkJzZli7P3gap6E_qYjZbw-ZaRUYoys/s640/%E6%97%A0%E6%9D%A1%E4%BB%B6%E7%9A%84%E7%88%B1.jpg" width="492" /></a></div>
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Soul Inspiration Centrehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00422563846612275919noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4283650696201832318.post-32056173857504656812012-11-22T11:21:00.000+08:002012-11-22T21:22:49.897+08:00我执<span class="userContent">人就是这个样子,「活」在自己「虚幻的世界」里。<br /> <br /> 坐一个位子、赚一点银子、买一间房子、娶个老婆、生个儿子,就认为位子、银子、房子、老婆、儿子,都是永远「属于」他的;却不知道,人世间的一切,都是「变幻无常」的。<br /> <br /> 「我执」如此严重,又怎能不「痛苦」呢?</span><br />
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[ 图片摘自网络 ]Soul Inspiration Centrehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00422563846612275919noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4283650696201832318.post-23006099192366128392012-11-07T23:29:00.002+08:002012-11-07T23:32:08.006+08:00梦想与使命<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh5vMdU2qUmktz-bUSNYtGCodvc04f2FwEBk8GMsH_QJaVY_-uGkv6tBI1G_BsljakcVjBgCTMaSC4CcRdIOVFxEAFg_lBuA1ilZTGHV2nvpVcPJni9-i51eyx9K8UCVq8I4xPYTE40gH0/s1600/IMG_9203_1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh5vMdU2qUmktz-bUSNYtGCodvc04f2FwEBk8GMsH_QJaVY_-uGkv6tBI1G_BsljakcVjBgCTMaSC4CcRdIOVFxEAFg_lBuA1ilZTGHV2nvpVcPJni9-i51eyx9K8UCVq8I4xPYTE40gH0/s400/IMG_9203_1.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">每个人年轻的时候,都曾经有过美丽的梦想。</span></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">而</span><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">我,曾经梦想要当一名摄影师。</span><br />
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">虽然,这个梦想最终并没有实现。</span></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">但多年后的今天,我发现,原来我对摄影的那份热爱,并没有因为梦想没有实现而消逝。</span></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">而我也发现,摄影,并不仅只是一个兴趣、一种消遣。</span></span></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">它也可以是个人,乃至社会的一种使命,让我们透过摄影,去记录一个年代的繁荣兴盛,与美丽哀愁。</span><br />
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<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"></span></span><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">这,就是今天我对摄影,梦想与使命的小小领悟。</span></div>
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Soul Inspiration Centrehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00422563846612275919noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4283650696201832318.post-87863005843741216002012-10-21T20:48:00.001+08:002012-10-21T21:02:13.662+08:00哀伤与失落<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">在你幼小的生命经验里,如果从来没有人告诉过你,你很重要,你的感觉,也很重要;那么,在你成年后的生命经验里,你也不会觉得自己,和自己的感觉,是重要的。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><o:p></o:p></span><br />
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">你无法学会,如何要求别人,尊重自己;你也无法学会,如何尊重自己,和重视自己的感觉。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">你贬低自己,把别人的需求和期待,看作是不可违抗的;而忘了自己,也有自己的需求和渴望。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">你爱他人,更甚于自己;但这样的爱,究竟是残缺、不完整的;因为世界上没有一个人,可以在不爱自己的情况之下,去爱另外一个人。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">尽管你很努力地去爱,但在内心深处,你隐隐约约地可以感觉到,有一股巨大的哀伤与失落,在忽略中<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; font-size: 12pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-language: ZH-CN; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">潜伏</span>发酵。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">别害怕,用心去感受那份哀伤与失落吧!</span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">让那份哀伤与失落,赤裸裸地摊在阳光底下吧!</span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">你已经把自己囚禁在那暗无天日的恐惧中好多年了。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">现在,是时候把那童年阴影,从你禁闭的心房中,释放出来;让那恐惧,和你,彼此都得到自由和原谅。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">别害怕,要相信自己;现在的你,已经拥有足够的资源和能量,去承受生命中,那等待被完成的哀伤与失落。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">祝福你,也祝福我!</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEipasexN2-Ca778TAlXOEOS9bGdfJLxVZeVk2UaBtzdXWya9il5n-1mKBJb9lKq9mJiv77SCjD7i7cw4BaWQfOmrjHterH6ExWmC5sUDDiBmv2nJDRLjQh_W7AVA7Qk3QQqJZYJUe47MGg/s1600/grief-1055.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEipasexN2-Ca778TAlXOEOS9bGdfJLxVZeVk2UaBtzdXWya9il5n-1mKBJb9lKq9mJiv77SCjD7i7cw4BaWQfOmrjHterH6ExWmC5sUDDiBmv2nJDRLjQh_W7AVA7Qk3QQqJZYJUe47MGg/s400/grief-1055.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">图片摘自:</span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><a href="http://www.minddisorders.com/Flu-Inv/Grief.html"><span style="color: blue;">http://www.minddisorders.com/Flu-Inv/Grief.html</span></a><o:p></o:p></span>Soul Inspiration Centrehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00422563846612275919noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4283650696201832318.post-79433791121170334442012-10-13T20:44:00.002+08:002012-10-13T20:45:45.542+08:00不可说,不可说<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">佛说:“不可说,不可说”。</span><br />
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">为何佛说:“不可说,不可说”呢</span>?<br />
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">因为每个人的根性不同,领悟的层次不同,如果佛“说”了,众人就会“着相”,认为只有佛“说”的,才是“真理”,也就无法“证悟空性”;况且,众人根性不一样,根本就没有一个可以满足所有人的说法,如果佛“说”了,反而会引起矛盾和争执。</span><br />
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">所以灵鹫山上,佛祖“拈花”,乃以心传心,迦叶尊者“微笑”,乃心领神会。</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhaQz4gxuTebXtGkfyn6jBvthA8hGcfmxe-B2FW45bYgQKwzo-BjCUQ5FG-OiEIu8Qzk_o_d6Ixd0lrwnjXk_i3RftqVOVy6gMDiosUj90sV9RrTceZa7iKlf9wdk73osLMzHOcoMFvpP0/s1600/%E6%8D%BB%E8%8A%B1%E5%BE%AE%E7%AC%91.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhaQz4gxuTebXtGkfyn6jBvthA8hGcfmxe-B2FW45bYgQKwzo-BjCUQ5FG-OiEIu8Qzk_o_d6Ixd0lrwnjXk_i3RftqVOVy6gMDiosUj90sV9RrTceZa7iKlf9wdk73osLMzHOcoMFvpP0/s400/%E6%8D%BB%E8%8A%B1%E5%BE%AE%E7%AC%91.jpg" width="316" /></a></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">图片摘自:中文百科在线</span></div>
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<a href="http://www.zwbk.org/MyLemmaShow.aspx?lid=157797"><span style="color: blue;">http://www.zwbk.org/MyLemmaShow.aspx?lid=157797</span></a><br />
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Soul Inspiration Centrehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00422563846612275919noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4283650696201832318.post-11518980171766946622012-10-07T21:56:00.001+08:002012-10-07T21:56:28.228+08:00觉醒时刻<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg6n4EVeaYpRxks5TD1KWKneWuds9hks3mJFz7ouY4pMA_iSQZSvXvJUvDF95XyZruQb-TEgxI6848h4bFgy8ro27LrIdmrwzsxnhbpL83y8M-szv4OnjLi0_mFjWUR6OXTlIuTarI6774/s1600/ghost-rider-spirit-of-vengeance-blue-flame-johnny-blaze-nicolas-cage.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="255" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg6n4EVeaYpRxks5TD1KWKneWuds9hks3mJFz7ouY4pMA_iSQZSvXvJUvDF95XyZruQb-TEgxI6848h4bFgy8ro27LrIdmrwzsxnhbpL83y8M-szv4OnjLi0_mFjWUR6OXTlIuTarI6774/s400/ghost-rider-spirit-of-vengeance-blue-flame-johnny-blaze-nicolas-cage.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">当生命来到了“最痛”的时刻,也就是灵魂“选择”要不要“觉醒”的时刻。</span><br />
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">图片摘自:</span>cinema soldier</div>
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<a href="http://www.cinemasoldier.com/articles/ghost-rider-spirit-of-vengeance-review-the-worst-nicolas-cag.html"><span style="color: blue;">http://www.cinemasoldier.com/articles/ghost-rider-spirit-of-vengeance-review-the-worst-nicolas-cag.html</span></a></div>
Soul Inspiration Centrehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00422563846612275919noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4283650696201832318.post-71021101291443970512012-10-03T21:43:00.001+08:002012-10-03T21:43:24.366+08:00心呼吸<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">查一查看,今年在部落格上发表的作品,已经快要接近</span>2011<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">年的数量了。</span><o:p></o:p><br />
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">究竟,是什么样的一种力量,可以让一个人,即使在半夜想到一个好的点子时,就马上醒过来,把它记录在案?</span></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">又是什么样的一种力量,可以让一个人,即使</span><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">身体不舒服,也仍然坚持要把脑海中那一片片捉摸不定的构想,化为可以触动人心的文字呢?</span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">我想,那是爱,和一份对生命的热诚。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">是这一份爱,和对生命的热诚,让我可以一次又一次地跨越自己的身心障碍。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">而这一份爱,和对生命的热诚,是来自此时此刻,正在默默拜读这段文字的你、我、他,和浩瀚的宇宙。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><o:p></o:p></span><br />
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">是你们在部落格上的留言,让我可以在这条默默无闻的创作道路上,走得更长、更远;即使没有掌声,我也心甘情愿,因为你们的爱,经已让我感动万分!</span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">谢谢你们</span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;">~ </span><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">我爱你们</span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;">~<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">就以“天涯侠医”的这首主题曲《心呼吸》,来表达我最虔诚的心意。</span></div>
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Soul Inspiration Centrehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00422563846612275919noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4283650696201832318.post-36663306708755334762012-10-03T21:03:00.000+08:002012-10-03T21:05:16.176+08:00亲密之旅IV<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhY-cYtsx02u_gdBAAqQ_oHnq5OI2FZzdQBBK3JolBK8wnraXhInuE99KdCbmlTUbz65Qnntqquy15_2LCyRJRRKH7b_8MS_iIt-IsturAKSLejVfSefZSjbD-Mn3Q_jGh9HDNa0D0HT5g/s1600/%E7%88%B1%E7%9A%84%E4%BA%94%E7%A7%8D%E8%AF%AD%E8%A8%80.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhY-cYtsx02u_gdBAAqQ_oHnq5OI2FZzdQBBK3JolBK8wnraXhInuE99KdCbmlTUbz65Qnntqquy15_2LCyRJRRKH7b_8MS_iIt-IsturAKSLejVfSefZSjbD-Mn3Q_jGh9HDNa0D0HT5g/s400/%E7%88%B1%E7%9A%84%E4%BA%94%E7%A7%8D%E8%AF%AD%E8%A8%80.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-language: TH; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">“爱,是投其所好,非给己所要”。</span><span style="mso-bidi-language: TH;"><o:p></o:p></span><br />
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-language: TH; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">——这是</span><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: "MS Mincho"; mso-bidi-font-family: "MS Mincho"; mso-bidi-language: TH;">≪</span><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-language: TH; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">亲密之旅</span><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: "MS Mincho"; mso-bidi-font-family: "MS Mincho"; mso-bidi-language: TH;">≫</span><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-language: TH; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">里面,黄维仁博士的一段智慧语录。</span><span style="mso-bidi-language: TH;"><br />
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</span><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-language: TH; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">这句话,不仅仅只是适用于伴侣之间,也适用于亲子之间的亲密关系。</span><span style="mso-bidi-language: TH;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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</span><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-language: TH; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">做父母的,总想把“最好”的,留给子女;做子女的,却常常认为“不够好”而不领情。</span><span style="mso-bidi-language: TH;"><o:p></o:p></span><br />
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-language: TH; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">但到底,什么才叫做“够好”呢?恐怕,在父母和子女之间,并没有所谓“一致的标准”。在父母而言,我所能够给出“最好”的,就是我所“拥有”的;但对于子女而言,我所期待的,恰恰是父母所无法“给予”,或是未曾“想过”的。</span><span lang="ZH-CN" style="mso-bidi-language: TH;"> </span><span style="mso-bidi-language: TH;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-language: TH; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">于是,因期待未被满足而引发的“心理拉锯战”,就这样在父母与子女之间,重复地上演着。</span><span style="mso-bidi-language: TH;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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</span><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-language: TH; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">其实,如果彼此能够打开心窗,去了解对方的“爱的语言”,或许,这世界上,就不会有那么多亲子之间的“冲突”和“误解”发生。</span><span style="mso-bidi-language: TH;"><br />
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</span><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-language: TH; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">同样的,在伴侣之间,如果我们不懂得对方的“爱的语言”,而一味地“付出”及要求对方“同等的回报”却不得要领时,我们也会感到心碎和挫败感。</span><span style="mso-bidi-language: TH;"><br />
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</span><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-language: TH; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">所以黄维仁博士告诉我们:“不是爱得更努力,而是爱得更有智慧”。</span><span style="mso-bidi-language: TH;"><br />
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</span><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-language: TH; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">也就是说,我们先要了解对方的心理需求,再“投其所好”,才能在亲密关系上,取得“事半功倍”的效应。</span><span style="mso-bidi-language: TH;"><o:p></o:p></span><br />
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-language: TH; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">图片摘自:</span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: TH;"><a href="http://book.360buy.com/10088750.html">http://book.360buy.com/10088750.html</a></span></div>
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Soul Inspiration Centrehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00422563846612275919noreply@blogger.com0